Sneaky Girl

"Baby, why's your tongue black?"

"It's lollipop, momma."

the Mr.

There aren't that many things that really gross me out.  Actually, it takes a lot to make me sick to my stomach.  But there are a few things that the Mr. does around the house that make me cringe.  It's a short list, but a list it be.  Here goes:
      
1.  Rips nails off of himself and leaves them for me to find.

        (on one occasion, I found a nail in Thing 2's mouth when she was just about a year old)

2.  Drinks from the carton.

            (I know, I know.  I've heard it a thousand times.  Most men do it, right?  I kiss you so it's okay, right? 

            Wrong buddy.  Especially when I catch you when you think you're alone.)

3.  Rolls up boogies and flicks them on the floor.

           (He claims that it was just and itch.  Uh, huh. Riiigggghhttt.)

4.  Toots in the car with the windows rolled up.

           (All the while, sitting there, giggling, and waving the stench in my direction with his hand.)

and number

5.  Leaving his dirty socks on the bathroom vanity.

          (can we say, YU-UCK!)

After numerous times of attempting to explain to him why this is so gross, he never fails to surprise me by repeating this action over, and over, and over, and over....

                             

Skinnygirl, take me away!

While I am not a fan of Bethenny Frankel (Real Housewives, right?), I am a fan of margaritas.  And skinny.

Whilst on a quick run to the grocery store to pick up some goods for dinner, I happen to eye this "skinny" little bottle strategically placed by the checkout line at my nearby Albertson's Grocery Store.  Standing tall and pretty among it's conglomerates, I couldn't help but notice.  What creative marketing, I thought.  This skinny silhouette of a girl in a red top and black pencil skirt with a yummy margarita in one hand and shaker in the other, was calling out my name.  "Aaaannnnggggeeeelllllaaaa."  "You know you want to take me home." At least that what I thought I heard her say.  Thus, I did.  And, I forgot to mention that she was on sale from $16.99 down to $13.99.  I know, I know.  A bit steep, but worth a try.

Fast forward a few hours, I decided now was the time for action.  No more screaming, no more crying.  I was just in need of that "Calgon, take me away..." moment.  You know, when your head just needs the rest from the noise within.  Yes, within.  The noise from the outside has suddenly taken over and ever so gently, crept up within.  Nearly driving you mad.  That's where I was today, and needless to say, Skinnygirl helped me through it.  So for next time, I say, "Skinnygirl, take me away...!"